I like to wear sexy things. I can't wear sexy things if I can't buy them. I can't buy them if the goddamn site doesn't work and accept my gift card. Now if I don't look sexy I won't feel sexy. If I don't feel sexy I will probably feel shitty. If I feel shitty then hubby will not be aroused. If hubby is not aroused sex will not happen. If sex doesn't happen our marriage may get stale and lifeless. If that happens, someone may cheat. If someone cheats then there will be divorce. If there is divorce my children may be psychologically damaged and turn into super villains who destroy the world.
What I'm trying to tell you is that since Frederick's of Hollywood won't give me my shit...the world is going to end.
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