There is poo on the penguin

Whenever your children are playing quietly you should start to pray to whatever deity you believe in. It's never a good sign. Unless they are asleep there should be noise.

So yesterday my children were playing happily in their room. Well, happily may not be entirely true since I'm sure even the neighbors could hear them yelling "NOOOO!" "MINE!!" and then a blood curdling scream after one bit the other. But it was a typical day of play in our household...Until I go in and find my youngest playing inside the toy bin and smelled the air.

Do you know how it smells when you leave out milk and it sours? Combine that with the smell of a homeless man's underwear and you get the idea of what raped my nostrils. I thought one of them died. Oh no, I had a diaper to change. I pick him up. Did I mention he was clad in ONLY his diaper? That's important. My child is small. He can only weigh about 23 pounds; well now it was probably only 20 since there was at least 3 pounds of feces spread between his diaper, body, and a penguin stuffed animal who was claimed as a prisoner of war.

I never thought I would be throwing a stuffed animal in the wash. Nor did I think I would sit quietly wondering if I would get pink eye from my clothes that touched it and ponder if death by fire would have put Mr. Penguin out of his misery in a more humane fashion.

That penguin was a gift to my husband. I have learned not to give a man a stuffed animal as a gift unless it can sing or fart because though he will accept it, he won't cuddle with it and he will give it to your child who will shit on it which will tell you that you wasted $20.